Call Centres …

The world is run by call centres and we have no choice but to live with this annoyance in our lives.  I normally console myself with the simple fact that the bright spark who came up with this idea also has no choice but to deal with this ….

Ring ring ring ring ring … a voice thanking you for making the call, then assuring you that your call is important to them and then give you options to push the number that suits your needs best.  You listen to the various options, realizing that not one single option even remotely resembles your query, you push the number that give you the option to listen to the various options again just in case you did not listen carefully enough the first time.

Realizing that there is no number to push for your query you hastily push a number and hope for the best.  Again the same voice once again giving you further options and you realize that your first choice of number is not going to get you anywhere, you disconnect and redial the number.  Once again you go through the motions choose a different number, once again another set of options …  you just choose any number and know at some point in time you might actually speak to a real person, explain yourself and hopefully be either helped or transferred to the correct department.

When eventually a voice answers, you bravely explain yourself and without warning once again you are back to square one.  Thank you for making the call and assuring you that your call is important to them …. Once again you listen to the options and to your utter utmost horror realize your lack of patience had got the better of you, you should have listened to the entire recording because, after giving you the option of listening to the options again, which you thought at the time was the very last option, there is one more option ….  should you just hold the line your call will be transferred to the first available operator.

Happy that at last you are going to get somewhere a voice suddenly pops up once again assuring you that your call is important to them, you are number six hundred and seventy in the queue and your call will be answered in approximately …. One hour, twenty seven minutes and forty two seconds … but don’t despair important person, while waiting you will be entertained with a recorded voice advertising all our products.  Knowing the human species does not quite understand or listen when you are supposed to, the recording is looped to give you the opportunity to listen to the same thing over and over and over again and after some time you might just now be so exited by one of our products that you can no longer contain yourself and just have to buy one of them … 

Your call is important to us, you are number four hundred and thirty two in the queue … your call will be answered in approximately fifty … eight minutes … twenty … three seconds …

Bed and Breakfast, Guest House or Self Catering in friendly Richmond Hill, Port Elizabeth.  To secure a booking contact Amanda at Willow Cottage bed and breakfast.

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