Dear Colonel one of your Employees Needs an Opf*k Last Wednesday
evening at around 8:15 p.m. the Longhair and I wafted into your chicken
emporium on 5 Ways seeking a Zinger and some Fried Chicken.

The order went something like this: a Zinger Burger, a Four Piece of
Fried Chicken, a one liter coke and a large coleslaw. The chicken and
coke were all off of your specials menu.

Well, we were served by Mrs Sullen personified, despite my attempts at
levity to ease her troubled mind and dark beetle browed look.

The Longhair is sensitive to other peoples ‘vibes’ and recommended to
me that we should check our order – no, this is not because of the fact
we have been short changed a number of times in the past from this
particular branch, but because Mrs Sullen looked to be not enjoying her
job at all.

I went one step further and checked the till slip against the
advertised prices and lo and behold Mrs Sullen had charged the four
pieces of fried chicken as TWO 2 pieces (FIRST mistake) AND the 1 litre
of coke at the ‘normal’ price and not the R10.00 as advertised (SECOND

It took a while for Mrs Sullen to rectify this, get us to sign the new
till slip and furnish us with the difference.

Then, Mrs Sullen plonked a one litre FANTA (not even a Fanta Brown!)
bottle on the counter for us. I ask you with tears in my eyes Colonel;
“Have you ever tried Rum and Fanta? It Sucks! The only way to drink Rum
is neat or with coke – that is why I asked for the damn coke!”
When I pointed out this THIRD
mistake to Mrs Sullen she said there were
no more cokes and pointed at the display fridge behind her to prove her
point. No problem to moi I then demanded that she furnish me with two
500 ml cokes. Without even saying anything Mrs Sullen turned on her
heel and disappeared to the back of the store, only to re-appear a
couple of minutes later with a one litre coke which she tossed onto the
counter for us.

Upon receiving our brown paper bag of goodies I proceeded to unpack the
bag to check our order and this is when mistake number FOUR came to
light – no frigging coleslaw.

Now, I am normally a patient and calm guy but, when one person makes
FOUR errors with my order I do tend to become excitable. True to form
though Mrs Sullen sauntered over, glared at us, checked the food,
checked the till slip that SHE had and then wandered away to get a
coleslaw. Once she had the coleslaw in hand she disappeared into the
office (presumably to spit on the coleslaw!) and then eventually
deigned to place the missing item in front of us.

BOILING is a mild word to describe my state of mind.

I then insisted on speaking to the manager and gave him my name,
surname, telephone number and e-mail address instructing him to please
get the Colonel or your RSM to contact me in the morning. To date
no-one has deigned to enquire about my concern.

Now I know why ‘managers’ wear hairnets? The hairnets help keep their
earplugs in so that they DO NOT HEAR whining customers!

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